Children
by Marcelle Hvidsteen
Summary: Raven and Beast Boy dated. Raven and Beast Boy broke up. Raven moved out. Raven comes back looking for help. I think that covers that.
1. Chapter 1

Raven stumbled as she landed on the island. They had to have shot her with something. Something that wasn't as easily healed as the wounds.

"Raven?"

Raven fell to the ground as Victor bent down. Raven felt here head thump and let him help her up.

"You have to help me."

"Of course. What's wrong?"

"Cara, they took Cara."

The tears that fell was an reaction to the pain that started to shoot up and down her body. She grinned her teeth and closed her eyes for a moment.

"You have to find Cara. Please."

He nodded, then she passed out.

--

The first thing she noticed was the beeping of the too familiar sounds of the machines in the med bay. Raven opened her eyes and tried to sit up, failing. She rolled over to her side and from there pushed herself into a sitting position. She looked at Kori who sat down on her bed and smiled. Behind her she saw Richard sitting on a chair, but no one else. Raven looked back at Kori. There was no anger about not telling her about Cara. No resentment that she had told Victor. Just happiness about seeing her friend well again.

"Cara?"

"She's fine. We found her in a motell. I don't think she's too traumatized."

Richard almost smiled as he got up and walked over to her. It had been two years, on their wedding, but he hadn't changed a bit. Well, he wasn't wearing a tux. Raven didn't know what to say, but before it could get awkward Richard bent down and hugged her. Raven hugged him back, before they let go.

"So what's new?"

Richard and Kori looked at one another, before Kori grinned.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's wonderful Kori. I'm so happy for you."

Again Raven found herself in a hug, but this time with the alien princess.

"How far?"

"It's been twenty-six weeks four days three hours twenty-nine minutes and... fifty seconds since the conception of my child."

Raven looked at Richard over Kori's shoulder and he just shrugged helplessly. Raven just smiled but as Kori went for another hug she pulled away. She had reached her limits for today.

"Where's Cara?"

"In the common room playing with Vic. He's really fallen for her."

"Yeah, I know."

They got up and after Raven changed they walked over to common room. As the door opened she froze. Garfield, who was sitting by the table, turned and looked at her.

"She's not yours."

"I know."

Cara was hanging from Victor's arm and her skirt had fallen over her head. She laughed and filled the silence, but Raven could tell the little girl was faking it. Not because she didn't love Victor or didn't like playing with him. Like her mother Cara was an empath, and could feel the pain and tension from the people in the room and did the only thing she could. She laughed and smiled and tried to cheer everyone up. She wasn't wearing her ring, and you could tell she wasn't like other children with a chackra, purple hair and grey skin, but her eyes were dark green and her face resembled her father, not her mother. Raven and Garfield looked at one another, but neither said a word. There was no need. The air had been cleared a long time ago, and she had left the team and her family as a result of it. She had tried to keep in touch with the others, but it became too awkward and when she got pregnant she only told Victor because Cara needed a holo ring so she could blend in.

"Mama."

Victor put the three year old down and Cara ran over and into Raven's arms. Raven picked her up and spun her around, hiding her tears in her daughter's hair.

"Are you okay mama?"

"I'm fine Cara. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

The girl shook her head and smiled. Showing her white teeth. Raven kissed her before hugging her tight.

"I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you."

"And here I thought you didn't want children, or was it just you didn't want children with me."

Garfield spat the words out, not at them, more to himself, but it still was heard by everyone.

"Cara, has Victor shown you the outsides yet?"

The girl shook her head and looked to the cyborg. He smiled to her and took her from Raven.

"I can show you a putle where there lives a crab family."

"I love crabs. They're so fun."

"We'll join you."

"But..."

Richard grabbed Kori's arm and almost pulled her out behind them. When Raven and Garfield were alone Raven walked over and slapped him in the face. Now Raven had hit Garfield a lot over the years, and to Garfield it was just how she communicated. Like Kori hugging you until you couldn't

breathe. But this time it felt different. It felt like a... slap.

"How dare you say something like that to her?"

"But it's the truth isn't it. You left me because the thought of having children made you physical sick."

Garfield got to his feet.

"Look, yes we brok up because of that discussion, but you were just as stubborn as me."

"Apparently not."

"Will you listen, I might have left but it took two people to break us up."

She had made the same argument when he had confronted her at the wedding.

"I still don't think wanting to have children with the woman you love is that wrong."

"Not when the woman doesn't want children."

"And yet here you are with one. What a suprise."

Raven knew he was hurt and therefore she took a step back and a breathed in and out. The bowl of cereal exploding just confirmed that this was getting out of control.

"What is she, three? You must have gotten pregant right after you left."

"Two months."

"And prey tell, what did he have that made you want to pass on his genes and not mine."

"He was there and I was drunk."

Garfield's mouth fell open.

"You don't drink."

"I have to take my daughter home now."

Raven turned and walked out. It got easier and easier.

--

Cara was a sleep in the back as Victor stopped by the metro station.

"I can drive you all the way Raven. Not a problem."

"No, we're fine."

Raven got out and picked up Cara. Even Victor didn't know her adress, they had always met at cafés and such. It had taken everything Raven had to leave them the first time, to be fair to Garfield who had already lost enough people in his life, to not make them have to choose between them. She needed distance.

"Thank you again for saving her."

"We're always here for you Raven."

Raven smiled grateful before going down into the florescent lighting.

--

It wasn't a bad apartment. Raven unlocked the door with one hand, and locked it behind them. She walked into Cara's room. It wasn't filled with the cheap comercial produkts the titans had produced for charity in their teens, but everyone could see that the animal print on the wall, the galaxy in the ceiling, the mechanical toys, even the robin mobile was an ode to the titans. Raven changed Cara and put her in bed. The girl didn't even stir. Raven petted her, when Cara started to sweat. Raven wasn't surprised, but sad and worried. Cara started to mutter, throw herself back and forth. Raven held her down, scared she would get hurt.

"I'm here Cara. Listen to my voice. I'm here. I'm here. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone."

It became a mantra for the few minutes it lasted, then Cara opened her eyes for a second, recognised her mother, and fell asleep again. Raven knew it was over. Kissed her gently and closed the door behind here. She closed here eyes.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

When she was calm she walked over to her desk and started to work. The payment she had gotten when she left the titans had been enough to pay for the apartment, and there was still a lot left over, but Raven had also gotten a job as a translator. She was in the connection to the library, but lent out to other projects. She loved it, mostly because she could work at nights. After Cara had gone to bed. They were the hardest, as she had known they would be, as they should be.

--

"Bye Cara."

"Bye mama."

Cara turned and walked over to the other children in the sandbox. With her ring on her hair was black and her skin was normal, like Raven. As Raven started to walk toward the library her phone rang. She was unlisted, so the choices were few. Work, or Victor.

"Raven Roth."

"It's Vic."

"I figured. What do you want?"

They didn't meet often, every third month or so. It was Raven who held back. She felt like she was betraying Garfield somehow. Victor was his best friend, or he was now that she was gone.

"Are you free for lunch?"

Raven had to stop for the red light, but would probably have stopped for å second anyway. On one side, after the stunt she pulled yesterday, after Garfield learning about Cara, it didn't feel right. On the other hand, she missed him and wanted to meet him. There was a lump in her chest that vanished every three months after their dates, and then regrew. She couldn't breath properly. The lights turned green, but Raven didn't move. It was just so she could breath properly.

"Okay. One at Lexinton?"

"Great."

--

The café was nice, but anonymous. Perfect for their little meetings. They were sitting outside because it was quite warm in the sun, Ravin was drinking herbal tea, Victor black coffee. Victor was also wearing his own holo ring so no one would recognise him as a titan.

"How is he?"

"How do you think?"

"My head plays everything from him not caring to threatening to jump off the building. But I guess he's sulking on his rock."

Victor gave her a confirming smile before taking a sip of his coffee. Raven sighed and leaned back on the wooden chair.

"It's been almost four years."

"And you think he would have gotten over loosing his girlfriend and best friend in just four years?"

"With Terra..."

"With Terra he had you, with Alice he had you."

Raven's grip on the cup tightened.

"He has you."

"I don't have what he needs."

"Breasts?"

Victor couldn't help smile and Raven did the same.

"Don't compare yourself with Terra and Alice Raven. You were always different."

"You mean they were blond and bubbly and I'm not?"

"You know what I mean."

Raven looked away and drank the last of her tea. When the waiter came back outside to help another costumer she ordered a new one.

"I don't know what else I could have done. He choose children over me, and I didn't want them."

"After yesterday that's not how it seems to him."

"I know, but I was desperat. And though I love Cara more than I thought posible, I wasn't wrong. I never should have had children."

The waiter came with her drink and left. Raven looked down at the green drink.

"Is something wrong."

"You don't know Victor."

"Then tell me Rae."

The tears came, despite Raven trying to stop them. She felt embarrassed, and it didn't help that Victor placed her cup on the table so she wouldn't lose it, and grabbed her hand. But, on the other hand, the attentiveness felt nice. To not be alone with everything in her head, felt nice. Suddenly the memory of Kori when they first met rushed into her head. How she had never heard of the word nice, and turned out to be nice personified. This made the crying worse.

"It can't be that bad."

"It's Cara. It's not like I inadvertently did it to her. I knew it would happen. I knew what she would have to go through, what she would have to live with and I still..."

Her voice couldn't carry her words anymore. She hadn't articulated her guilt since she decided to have Cara, and if it hadn't been for meeting everyone yesterday, she never would have.

"Your dad?"

Raven looked at him. His compassion and sympathy railing against her like a train, and her pride finally stepped in. She stopped crying and flashed him a small smile. As she got to her feet she took out some money and placed it on the table.

"Don't worry about me Vic, I can take care of myself."

"But Rae..."

He got to his feet to stop her from leaving.

"My break is over, I have to get back to work."

Before he could say anything else she left with the crowd. Suddenly relived that he didn't know where she worked or lived. If he had she knew he would come after her.

"I can take care of myself."

She knew it was a lie, but as she sat there in the dark basement translating old text from Sanskrit to English, she knew she couldn't survive without it.


	2. Chapter 2

Raven looked up from her book as Cara in her pyjamas was standing in the door.

"What's wrong?"

"Mama, I'm bored."

"You're suppose to be in bed, asleep."

Cara ran over and jumped up on the sofa next to her, when Raven moved the book Cara crawled on her lap. Snuggling against her mothers chest she started to breath calmer and more steady. Raven couldn't help smiling as she got to her feet with the now sleeping child in her arms. The bookshelf snapped and all the books fell to the floor. Cara woke up and started to cry.

"I'm sorry Cara. Don't cry, I'm here. Mama's sorry she broke the stupid bookshelf."

Raven walked back and fourth with the crying child in her arms and it took a good half an hour before Cara had stopped crying and another fifteen minutes until she was asleep again. Raven walked into her bedroom and placed Cara in her bed. She knew Cara was suppose to sleep in her own room, but Raven needed the company. Raven's room, unlike Cara's was much more minimalistik. A few pictures of the titans and Cara. The furniture was simple, black and only the essentials. Raven didn't spend so much time there anyway. She changed and slipped under the covers with Cara. As she did her eyes fell on the wedding picture of Richard and Kori. Victor had told her about their engagement and all she had wanted was to congratulate them. She had talked to Kori and somehow ended up as the maid of honer. Garfield had flipped out, and Richard had yelled at him. Probably not the best thing for their already strained relationship. To them Richard had been her overprotective older brother and when Raven had left... she doubted Richard had fully forgiven Garfield for that.

--

Three weeks later and Cara looked up at her with a huge grin. They had just come home from the park where they had celebrated the birthday to one in her kindergarten. The girl was high from the cake and candy and was running around with her hands out to her side. Raven couldn't help giving out a small laugh and continued while answering her phone.

"Raven?"

She stopped laughing.

"Victor? What's wrong?"

"It's Kori. She's locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out. She's crying."

"What do you want me to do?"

Cara ran into her legs and Raven grabbed her arm to make her stand still.

"Can't you talk to her."

"I need to take Cara with me, is that a problem.?

"I think by now Dick would give you anything to get Kori to come out."

That wasn't who Raven was hinting of, but she didn't push it. She hung up, picked Cara up and phased into the common room.

"Victor?"

He popped in to the common room.

"Thank god."

Raven followed her to the bathroom where Richard and Garfield were standing. Richard knocked on the door.

"Kori, Rae's here."

"Leave me alone."

Garfield was leaning against the wall and just gave Raven a dark look. Richard looked at her with pleading eyes. Raven had never seen him pleading before. Cara started to fidget and Raven put her down.

"Don't wonder off."

The girl nodded before running up and down the hall. Raven walked over to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Go away."

"Kori, it's me Raven. Can you let me in?"

A faint click and Kori opened the door. Her face was swollen and her makeup smeared. She moved and let Raven in. Raven closed the door, but didn't lock it.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be a terrible mother for my bumgorf."

Kori sank to the floor and Raven sat down beside her.

"Your not going to be a terrible mother Kori."

"But..."

"I'm not saying it will be easy, and you will make mistakes. All parents make them. But you won't be a terrible mother."

Raven could sense and see that Kori didn't believe her.

"When I first got pregnant with Cara I was terrified. I didn't know anything about children, and I've pretty much scared most children that I've had contact with. But the reason I was afraid was also because I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone in my entier life. And I think that when you love someone as much as you love you child, you will always be afraid that they will get hurt."

Kori seemed to feel a little better, but not much.

"And I know you will be a wonderful mother Kori because I know you. You have that mothering instinct for practically everyone. Everyone likes you Kori, not because your pretty, but because you're nice. And there is no way that you will be terrible to your own child when you've never been terrible to anyone in your life. Even thou they deserve it."

Kori hugged her and cried into her shoulder, and Raven let her. After a few minutes Kori got to her feet, freshed up and walked out. Raven followed her. Kori locked arms with Richard and they started to walk down the hall like nothing had happened. Raven couldn't help a small smile when she saw them.

"Wow, what did you do?"

"Pree-birth anxiety. I just told her she wouldn't be a terrible mom."

"Go figure."

Raven looked down on the floor as the thing in her chest started to grow. She needed to leave before something happened.

"Where's Cara? It's almost her bedtime."

"She got hungry so Gar volunteered to make her some food."

"Gar volunteered?"

It grew.

They walked to the common room and opened the door. Cara was sitting on Garfield shoulders as he ran around with his arms out, flapping them like a bird. Raven couldn't breath. Cara's laugh pierced her mothers ears until one of the walls suddenly exploded.

"Cara."

It was only a whisper as a boulder came flying and hit her in the shoulder, knocking her backwards.

"Raven."

"Rae."

"Mama."

Cara started to cry as Garfield and Victor ran to her aid. Again Raven's pride took control. Despite the intense pain she got to her feet and picked her crying child off Garfield shoulder.

"Mama's sorry Cara. She didn't mean to scare you."

"Are you okay Rae?"

Raven couldn't look at Garfield so she just gave Cara all her attention. Even after she stopped crying.

"I have to go. I'm sorry about the wall."

Then she teleported home.

"Gar's funny."

"Is he?"

Cara didn't stop talking about Garfield as her mother washed her, dressed her and got her to bed. The little girl knew it pained her, but she could also feel something wonderful at the mentioning of the strange green man, and that was why she continued.

"Now go to sleep Cara."

Raven walked over to the door.

"Mama."

"Yes Cara."

"Don't be so sad. When the bad man comes."

Raven smiled.

"Go to sleep."

Then she turned off the lights.

--

The cell gave an echo through the dark, cold room. Raven made a mark where she was and picked it up.

"Raven Roth."

"It's me friend Raven, Kori. I hope you are not too upset, but friend Victor gave me your telephone number so I could call you."

"Yeah, I figured, what do you want?"

"I wanted to invite you to dinner."

The lump in her chest welled up and made it almost impossible to breath normal. The lights blinked, but thankfully didn't go out.

"Dinner?"

"Yes, you know where people who care about one another gather around and share a meal consisting of food."

"I know what dinner is Kori."

"Then you'll come?"

Raven looked down on the dark brown table, following the lines.

"I don't know Kori. I don't want to impose."

"You will not. We want you to come. All of us. And Cara too. Oh please come. We miss you."

She opened her mouth to say no. She couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to Gar, and it would be too hard to leave.

"I'll come."

"Oh goodie. Please arrive at seven."

"Okay."

Kori hung up, and the silence echoed in the small room.

"What have I done?"

She looked down at her work, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't concentrate.

--

She looked up at the door as she knocked. It felt odd, knocking on that door. This was a mistake. Cara was uncommonly calm as she was holding her mother's hand. The door opened, and Raven was surprised, saddened and overjoyed that Garfield was standing on the other side.

"Kori invited me."

"I know."

He smiled as they walked in. They had gone a few feet when the doorbell rang again.

"That has to be Jenny."


	3. Chapter 3

He turned and walked back to the door. The woman on the other side of the door was beautiful. Blond, huge blue eyes and a big white smile. Raven felt instant inferior to this woman, as she had with Terra and Alice, but she was careful not to show it. Cara's grip tightened, and the girl's face wasn't as good hiding her emotions as her mother's was. Jenny walked to them and Raven took her hand.

"I'm Jenny."

"Raven."

"Ouch."

All three grown ups looked down at the little girl who had just kicked her mother's competitor.

"Cara, you're not allowed to kick people. Say your sorry."

The girl pressed her lips together for a moment, before parting them.

"Sorry."

Jenny and Garfield walked ahead, Jenny leaning more on Garfield than Raven knew was necessary, but she was smart enough not to mention it. She looked down at the girl, Cara didn't dare look up.

"I don't like her."

"I know, but you still can't kick her."

"Jenny makes you sad."

Lying to her would be a waste of time, beside Raven hated lying, and trying to explain the situation would be to complicated for her young mind.

"You still can't kick her."

That was all she could say, and Cara just tightened her grip on her mother's hand as they stepped in to the common room. Then she saw Victor, and letting go of Raven, she ran to him and laughed as he picked her up and swung her around. Garfield helped Jenny to the table, before walking to the boys and the girl now sitting on Victor's shoulders. Raven walked over to Kori standing over the oven.

"Do you need any help?"

"Raven."

With a huge grin Kori gave her a hug, and despite the huge physical pain, Raven had missed them.

"No, I am doing good with the preparation. Just a few more minutes before we can eat."

She turned and started to stur some purple concoction, and Raven knew she was unreachable now. She could have gone to the boys and talked to them, but that would have been rude to Jenny who was sitting all alone. So despite rather having to eat the whole meal on her own than talk to her, she walked to Jenny and gave her a small, short lived, smile.

"Does your leg hurt much? I can heal it if you want."

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

Raven just nodded.

"So, you used to be a titan?"

"Yes."

"But now you're normal?"

Raven just nodded as she sat down.

"Isn't it kind of boring to be normal after being something so wonderful?"

"There are positiv and negativ things about any role we are. Even that one."

"Even so, I think being a hero must be so exciting."

Raven knew what Jenny was. A groupie. Someone who adored superheroes. Someone who loved Changling, Beast Boy, then Garfield. She knew groupies could grow into something more. Plenty of superheroes married groupies who grew into partners. Jenny just wasn't there, yet.

"So how long have you two been dating?"

"Almost a year now."

Why hadn't Vic told her? Raven was happy Garfield had found someone, yet she was unhappy. She felt vulnerable, alone and weak. Everything she was afraid she would feel once Garfield got over her.

"We met during an attack, this underwater seaweed monster was attacking us, we were on the beach, and the titans saved us. It was love at first sight."

Both women looked over at Garfield, who at that time looked at them, and the burst of love from him forced Raveb to look away. She was happy for him. She was. She was as happy for them as she could be. And just as much as she was happy, she felt like screaming from the top of her lunges. Kori came and placed a huge casserole on the table.

"Come and eat."

Raven got off from her chair and sat down between Cara and Victor. She squeezed Cara's hand when Garfield and Jenny started to kiss, but if it was for her sake or Cara's, Raven wasn't sure.

"Not at the table guys."'

"Yeah, like you and Kori haven't kissed by the table."

Cara started to laugh, and suddenly Raven felt better. She looked down and under the table she squeezed Cara's hand again. No matter how much seeing Garfield pained her, at least she wasn't alone. Jenny looked up and Raven inadvertently met her eyes.

"So what do you do now Raven?"

She could feel the curiosity from the others, but knew they would never have asked her.

"I'm a translater."

"Movies?"

"No, books."

Jenny made a face.

"Is that fun?"

"It's a job."

"I can't imagin anything being worth leaving this life for that out there."

All the good feeling vanished, and without losing Jenny's eyes, Raven looked at Garfield. He hadn't told her. Cara squeezed her hand.

"Just wait a few years Jenny."

Kori walked around and served the purple stew in the bowls, and Raven had to admit it smelled wonderful. She looked at Victor, who took a huge spoonful. He smiled at her.

"I don't know why, but ever since she got pregnant she has turned into a great cook. Try it."

Raven did, and it was wonderful. She looked down as Cara started to eat so fast Raven was scared that she would choke.

"Slow down Cara, you could get sick."

Cara nodded and smiled wider than Raven had ever seen her smile before. Without thinking she bent down and kissed the girl on the forehead. Something she had done before, but it wasn't a very common thing. Cara just continued to eat.

"Cara what age are you?"

"Three."

Cara looked up and smiled to Kori, whom melted.

"Three years? When is your birthday?"

Cara only hesitated because Raven felt shocked by Garfield's question.

"March 15th."

Garfield and Raven's eyes met and she knew what he was thinking. Two months can feel like a lifetime. Two months can feel like a moment. Raven suddenly wished she hadn't comed.

--

"It's time to get to bed Cara."

"Oh no it is still early friend Raven."

"Not when you're three."

Raven got to her feet and picked up the tired girl.

"No."

It was barely audible, but did get a smile from Raven. Garfield jumped up.

"She can sleep in my bed."

"Are you sure?"

He gave her his classical boy-smile, and immediate she was back as a teenager hiding her crush behind harsh words. All she could do was nod, and despite she knew the way by heart she let him show her to his room. His bunk beds were gone, and replaced with a king size bed with the matress by her hips. Strange, but Raven missed the bunk bed. She had lost her virginity in it. But besides that, the room hadn't changed much.

"Here, she can sleep in this."

"Is it clean? I mean normal clean, not clean by your standards."

"Yes."

Raven took off Cara's dress, but kept the singlet and underwear.

"Here, let me."

Raven knew better, but she couldn't deny him. Carefully he slipped the large t-shirt over the now sleeping girl, before moving so Raven could slip her under the covers. Then the two of them walked out into the hall.

"So are you going to give me an explanation?"

"For what?"

They had walked a few feet away, so not to wake up the girl, but had now stopped and was looking at one another.

"I don't know, how about the fact that you broke up with me because you didn't want children and now almost four years later I find you with a kid?"

"You're like a broken record sometimes. I told you, I was drunk and he was there. It was an accident."

He pressed her against the wall. He was so angry and hurt he was shaking, and Raven let his anger fule hers.

"No. Give me the real reason. I've known you since we were kids and I have never seen you drink alcohol your entier life."

"Because I still loved you. And I needed to forget and to not feel, and getting drunk and sleeping with guys I didn't know was the only way I got through the days. Was that what you wanted to know?"

He let her go and she walked toward the common room, but after a few feet she turned.

"I had a tubal ligation when I had Cara Garfield. I can't give you what you want."

Then she turned and walked quickly to her other friends.


	4. Chapter 4

Cara was sitting on a swing, pumping her legs back and forth. Raven was sitting on the bench with clear view of the swings and her daughter. In her hand was a book, but ever so often she would look over the edge at the smiling girl. More for show than anything, she would sense it if anything was wrong. Like she sensed it when Jenny walked toward her. Like she sensed how distressed she was. Upset, angry, curious and confused. It had taken her three days to either figure everything out, or to build up the courage to get the truth.

"You want to sit?"

"What's the deal with you and Gar?"

Raven closed her book and got to her feet.

"Gar and I used to date. We broke up because I didn't want children, and he did. Two months later I got pregnant with Cara with another man."

"And you never told him."

"He still wants a family, and I still can't give it to him."

Someone gripped her trousers, and Raven looked down at Cara's huge eyes.

"It's okay Cara."

Raven glanced at Jenny.

"Was there anything else?"

She just looked at Cara, before turning and walking away.

--

Cara was trying to hold her head up high, but the night stole all her power. Raven didn't mind carrying her.

"Hi Beautiful."

Raven looked up and her eyes grew when she saw Adonis, but realised he didn't know her.

"You shouldn't walk alone like that."

With everything that had happened the last few weeks. With Cara being kidnapped, Gar finding out about her, and Jenny, Raven was glad to find someone she could let off some of her buried down anger out on. She placed Cara down on the ground. Then turned and looked at him. He grinned before jumping at her. She grabbed his arm, jumped up before flicking herself over and kicking him in the back making him crash into the wall. It trembled and Adonis got to his feet again. As he turned his face was almost as red as his suit. Raven just got in position again. He jumped her, but Raven kicked his feet from under him, before lying down and using her legs as momentum fliped him over her and straight into the opposite wall. He got to his feet, but was swaying and Raven just brushed off durt from her clothes. His face was now a dark crimson colour. Then he grinned, and Raven suddenly felt fear empty her body. His hand was moving down toward the ground at an incredibly speed, and under it, Cara was crying and looking at her mother with tears in her eyes. Before she could think the black energy shot out of her body, wrapped itself around the man and his arm and made him fly up in the air before tumbling down into the ground. Digging him under the asfalt, before again shooting up into the air. She let him go and he flew over the rooftop. Raven walked over to Cara, picked her up and as they walked home, she whispered comforting words in her daughter's ears.

--

There were dozens of reporters around the kindergarten. Some of them were taking pictures of the building, some were interviewing the other children and one or two of the grown ups. Raven opened the gate and suddenly all of the reporters turned and focused at her.

"Is it true that you are the former titan Raven?"

"Did you quit because you were pregnant?"

"Is Changling from the titans the father?"

"Where did you get the name Roth from?"

Raven looked from one reporter to the other confused, before on of them gave her the newspaper. There, on the front page a huge picture of her using the dark energy to throw Adonis over the rooftop. There was also a blow up of Cara, and her t-shirt where the kindergarten's logo was clear to see. All the blood vanished from her face as the reports continued to spew out their questions.

"Why did you quit?"

"Does Cara have any powers?"

"What have you been doing al this time?"

"Have you not considered the dangers of having her be together with ordinary children?"

Her head started to work again, and she managed to get through the group and into the house. The leader for the kindergarten jumped up and Cara was sitting on the floor colouring.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Roth. I've called the police. "

"I'm taking her out."

"I understand Ms. Roth."

Cara looked up and smiled as her mother walked toward her.

"Is it true Ms. Roth. Are you the former titan Raven?"

Raven just picked up Cara and teleported to the island. She was set back by the reporters on the boats, and the flashing went crazy when they saw her. And all she could do was walk as fast as she could toward the tower and knock. Every second she spent there, every flash that went of made Raven want to shriek and scream, but she refused to give them that. So when the door opened she just walked in as quickly she could with her eyes firmly looking ahead.

"Dick said you might be dropping by soon. I haven't seen such a publicity storm since the wedding."

Raven just sent Garfield the evil eyes, but she felt safer and calmer on the inside of the door. Cara started to squirm and Raven let her down.

"How could you be stupid enough to use your powers while wearing your ring? I'm not complaining, he probably deserved it, but still."

"Bad week."

He just shrugged and didn't push it. He knew better. They arrived at the common room where the TV was set to a report about Raven and Cara. Richard turned the screen off.

"I need a new identity Vic."

Victor just nodded.

"It might take a while."

Raven just nodded.

"Cara come here."

Cara walked obediently to her mother. Raven took of both rings and gave them to him.

"And make Cara's ring something that she can grow in."

He just nodded again, before leaving. The doorbell rang and Garfield vanished.

"You want to play in my room friend Cara?"

Cara looked at Kori with huge eyes, before looking at Raven. Raven nodded and the two of them left, leaving only Raven and Richard.

"How could I have been so stupid Dick?"

"It's not that bad."

"They surrounded her kindergarten. I won't let her suffer because of me."

Her body was filled with guilt, leaving room for nothing else, and the windows shattered. Raven quickly dried her tears, but Richard acted like he hadn't noticed. Just walked over to the wall near the broken window and pushed a button. An metal shield moved and covered the gaping holes.

"That's new."

Raven looked up and at Garfield and Jenny. She hadn't noticed.

"I should go to Victor."

All she got was a nod from Richard as she left. She walked as quickly as she could while chanting her mantra. Desperately trying to get her emotions down to a level where she wasn't a danger to the people she cared about, and the people they cared about. She knocked and entered.

"There, everything about Raven Roth and Cara Roth has been deleted. So, what new identity do you want now."

Raven looked at the screen. She had worked so hard to do well, to be good.

"Rachel Scott."

"Okay."

"A character from a book I read a lot when I was a kid."

He started to type, and slowly Rachel Scott's life unfolded and was born.

"You know I can't have any contact with you Vic, when we move."

"I figured."

He wasn't looking at her, and Raven wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry. But this happened because..."

"You still love him."

Raven nodded, and whispered her mantra.

"He still loves you."

"We didn't break up because we didn't love each other Victor. But I can't let Cara suffer because of it. I've cause her so much pain already."

Victor turned and gently caressed her cheek.

"She loves you Rae."

"I know, but some times love isn't enough."

He smiled shorty, before turning back to the screen.

"And Cara's new name?"

"Victoria."

A small pause before he wrote it down. After writing down the new dates and adresses of Rachel Scott's life he turned to the ring. Raven looked at the image, and how with only a few changes the apparence completely changed. Before she looked like a normal version of Raven, now she didn't look like that. She just looked different. He imprinted the new changes and gave Raven the new rings.

"You always have my number Rae."

Raven just nodded, then she hugged the man.

"Thank you."

"I'll miss you."

Raven nodded again, before leaving. Ignoring that Victor was crying over his computer. She entered the common room where Kori and Cara where back. As quickly as she saw her mother Cara smile and ran into Raven's arms.

"Did you have fun with Kori?"

Cara nodded.

"Here put this on."

The changes weren't as dramatic, but it was strange to look at her daughter and not see her daughter.

"Cara I have to talk to you about something. You can't be Cara anymore."

"Why?"

"Because mommy did something stupid. You have to be Victoria. You can still do what you like to do, but your name is Victoria now. Not Cara. Do you understand?"

The girl just nodded, but she had tears in her eyes. Raven pulled the girl into her arms.

"I'm so sorry."

Cara was crying and Raven looked at a cup on the table spinning around. She breathed and the cup came to a standstill. Before exploding.


	5. Chapter 5

Cara was just sitting on the floor looking down at the toys she had been given. Raven had left to pack their things in the apartment, and Kori was watching her in the mean while. The little girl didn't cry, but it was clear to everyone she was holding it in as much as she could. Kori tried to join her game, to light up the girl's mood, but it was useless. Finally Kori got to her feet and walked to the table where the other Titans and Jenny were seated. Now and then the voices from the paparazzi could be detected. Victor got to his feet.

"She shouldn't have to be here."

"I'll take here."

The three remaining titans looked at one another as Garfield walked to the girl and sat down next to her. And Jenny just stared at them with poorly concealed anger. Victor walked over to them and Cara looked up at him.

"Gar said we're going to the amusement park."

"Did he?"

"Can I go, please?"

She gave him her cutest smile and as always Victor couldn't refuse her anything.

"Get your ring Gar."

Garfield jumped up, flashed the girl a huge smile, before running out. All of the titans, after a lifetime in the public eye, had gotten holo rings. For nothing more than to be normal once in a while, or at least close to normal. When he came back he looked very much like how he thought he would have looked if he hadn't been sick. Cara didn't seem scared or confused when the he came back, thou he looked very differently, and just calmly walked over and grabbed his hand. She was so like her mother that he wanted to cry, but hid it by picking her up and spinning her around until she was gasping for her breath between her laughs.

"You're ready?"

She nodded and he put her down. Then he left before someone got their senses back and stopped them.

--

He had taken one of the cars through the secret tunnel and parked by the docks. Cara's eyes grew, and Garfield guessed Raven hadn't taken her there yet. They got out and she grabbed his hand again and waited patiently, despite how he could feel er antisipation pulsate in her little hand.

"What do you want to do first?"

She looked around and pointed to the a mary-go-round. He got her settled in a cup that spins around.

"You want me to stay with you?"

She shook her head, and he smile and walked off the platform. He waved and she grinned and waved back.

"She's beautiful. How old is she?"

Garfield turned and looked at the woman suddenly standing next to him.

"Three, and thanks. She takes after her mother."

The woman smiled, and pointed to a girl sitting on a horse.

"My youngest. She's seven. They grow up so fast don't they?"

Garfield looked back at the Cara. The meri-go-round had started and you could hear her laughter clearly, even when she was out of sight.

"Yeah, they do."

--

"So, now we've taken the mery-go-round. The dragon. The teapots, three times. What do you want to do now?"

Cara stopped and looked up at the stuffed animals in one of the stalls. Garfield grinned and bent down.

"You want me to win you a stuffed animal?"

"Yes please."

"Which one?"

She pointed at a green chicken in front of the ring toss. Garfield smiled, before lifting her up and placing her on the counter.

"Now I have to warn you, I'm pretty good at this game."

He started to throw, and after about one hour he managed to get her the green chicken. The man behind the stall picked it down and Cara just started at him for a moment before starting to cry.

"What's wrong Cara?"

Cara indicated that she wanted to be held, and he picked her up while grabbing the chicken with the other hand.

"What's wrong Cara?"

"Sick man."

Garfield had no idea what that ment, just gave the man an apologetic look, before walking away from the stall. The further away they went, the calmer she got, and finally she was just resting her head on his shoulder.

"Better?"

She nodded and he placed her down on the ground again and gave her the chicken. She held it tight and gave him the other hand. He grabbed it, and looked at the watch.

"We should head home, or your mom will be very mad at me."

The girl nodded and they started to walk to the car as a rush with people walked toward and passed them. Cara froze and got the same look of desperation he had seen glips of on Raven when she was caught off guard. She dropped the chicken and started to wail with both hands over her ears. Garfield scooped her up, but no matter what he tried her wailing continued. Finally he started to walk toward the car, and when they were almost alone she calmed down again. He placed her in the car, and Cara fell asleep right away from exhaustion.

"I had no idea how much pain you were in Rae."

Because he was certain that it was her maternal powers that had made the girl cry both times. He stroked Cara's hot forehead and bent down and kissed it. He knew that it was this Raven had ment when she tried to explain why she didn't want to have children. Why she had fear in her eyes when they argued about children. Then Cara started to sweat and throw herself back and fourth. Garfield rose and looked around, but they were alone. Cara started to twitch and throw herself against the seat belt. Then she started to scream. Not just in pain, like earlier, but in terror. Garfield tried to get her lose, afraid she might hurt herself, all the time trying to find the person who was hurting her. There was no one. He picked her up and started to walk back and forth. After a few minutes that seemed like an eternity she calmed down and opened her eyes. She looked at him, before falling asleep again. This time she was completely calm. He walked back and forth for a few more minutes before he placed her back in the car and started to drive. She was fine the entire way home. He carried her up, and placed her in his bed. Then he walked back into the common room, and froze. He stared at the screen, ignoring everyone looking at him or that Jenny had tears in her eyes, where Jenny was sitting in a sofa talking to a well known TV personality. Under her face you could read _Jenny, Changling's girlfriend._

"So tell us about Raven. I understand you've met her and know the story."

Jenny nodded.

"Yes, apparently Raven and Changling was an item before she left."

"So the rumors where true."

"Oh yes. Then it turnes out that Changling wants children and Raven doesn't so they break up."

"And that is when she left the team."

Jenny nodded again.

"And then she got pregnant by another man."

"Turn it off Dick."

He did, and Garfield managed to turn his gaze from the screen to the woman sitting on the sofa.

"When?"

"Right after you left. I'm on TV Gar, isn't that exciting?"

Desperation. Quicker than humanly possible he stands over her.

"You betrayed her."

"They said I could get on the TV."

"You betrayed me. She is my friend Jenny, by betraying her you are betraying me. Don't you understand?"

She looked at him, and her face got an even more desperate and frantic look.

"You still love her don't you?"

"Get out Jenny, and don't call me again."

"No wait."

Garfield started to walk toward the door. Jenny got to her feet and ran after him, grabbing his hand, making him look at her.

"Please, Changling, I love you. I know you want children. I can give that to you. I'll have as many children as you want. Please, Changling. I beg of you. She doesn't love you the way I love you. Changling."

"My name is Garfield Jenny. And it's time for you to leave."

Then he turned and left.

--

He flew through the open window and morphed back. By the animal print on the wall he guessed it was Cara's old room. He could also see the galaxy in the ceiling, the robin mobile and the metal toys. This had to be Cara's bedroom. He looked up and saw Raven standing in the door with a book in her hand, staring at him. He probably should have planed this.

"What do you want Gar?"

"You owe me an explanation?"

He had no idea where that came from. He didn't even know what he wanted an explanation for. He just opened his mouth and that spewed out. He had pushed the wrong button again, as he had done so many times, and he could see her anger. She started to walk toward him and her voice was higher than usual.

"Owe you an explanation? After I left my home, my friends, my family because you decided that I wasn't good enough. That I wasn't enough for you. I left everything so you wouldn't have to, and I still wasn't what you wanted."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer as a peace of the plaster fell down from the ceiling. The walls and ceiling were broken and cracked. Most of the toys on the floor had gone the same way. But he didn't notice. All he could do was look at this wonderful woman. She was crying. Her arms were shaking with anger she wasn't allowed to nor allowing herself to give in to. She raised her eyes and looked at him. She wasn't accusing him, her eyes just stated it. You are the reason I'm suffering. You are the reason I'm in pain right now. He let go of her and his arms fell down to his side like dead weight.

"What do you want an explanation on now Gar?"

"Nothing."

Then he morphed to an crow before he said something more stupid, and flew out of the window. But not before he saw Raven fall to her knees, wrap both arms around her stomach and cry freely. Destroying the room completely.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Garfield"_

"_What have I said about calling me Garfield Rae?"_

_He was playing videogames and didn't even look at her. Raven sighed in and out a few times to get control over her emotions. _

"_Gar, there's something I need to talk to you about."_

"_What?"_

"_I have feelings for you, and that is why my powers have gone out of control lately and why I've acted differently toward you. And I know you don't feel the same way so don't worry. I'll deal with it. I just wanted to tell you because you've been worried lately and I didn't want you to worry."_

_Then she turned and left. On the screen the words GAME OVER were flashing with huge red letters, but Garfield just stared at nothing, not realising nor caring what was written on the screen. _

The paparazzi had finally gone home, and she was saying good bye. Garfield was standing on his rock skipping stones into the ocean. He didn't, couldn't see her leave again.

_Raven was walking down the hall while reading her book. She was so concentrated that when Garfield suddenly appeared right in front of her she was surprised, but was of course careful not to show it. It had been two weeks since her confession and she had only made things worse for the young green man. Raven closed the book and looked at him. He looked down on the floor, then he followed her body up to her eyes. _

"_I told you Gar, I'll handel this."_

_Then he kissed her. And despite the voice in her head screaming this was a mistake, Raven kissed him back. She gave in to love, to passion, to want, to need. To his lips on hers. To his hands against her bare skin. To his want that was pulsating, fuling hers. To his body that pushed her against the wall. To his hand that was behind her head so she wouldn't be hurt. To the secret dream she had of him loving her. Thou this wasn't love. Thou this was wrong. It felt just too right to ignore. The lights went out and they pulled away from each other. Raven couldn't see, but she could feel. She felt more than she had ever allowed herself to feel her entier life. _

"_Come."_

_He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall to his room. And she followed. Not caring that she had dropped her book. He closed the door behind her, and none of them seemed to notice his room was being wrecked. He pulled off his t-shirt before lifting her up to his top bunk like she weighed nothing, and pulled himself up behind her. He was hovering over her, and Raven didn't care what would happen when they were done. What this was doing to the things around them. That this could ruin everything. She just pulled him closer and ignored all the other voices in her head than the one saying this is good. _

Garfield looked up at the window. Cara looked down at him, and when she saw him she smiled and waved. He smiled and waved back. Then she turned her face inward, before walking away.

_It was early, even for her. But Raven knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. After her usual morning rituals she went up to the roof and started to meditate. For hours she tried to get her emotions under control, but she couldn't. Happiness was filling her mind and forcing her to smile. _

"_Get a hold of yourself Raven. This is stupid. You know he doesn't love you back. Yesterday was just about passion and desire. He is the animal man. He can't help wanting to sleep around."_

_But it didn't help. She couldn't calm down Happiness and she couldn't stop smiling. She sat a few more hours, when a wave of emotions forced themselves on her, and she knew someone had joined her on the roof. She turned and just stared at Garfield. _

"_Hi."_

_He started to walk toward her, but that wasn't what she was focused on. His emotions where complex, as they were with all people, but there was one emotion there that made her heart beat faster and making her break all the windows in the tower. He loved her, and not like he had loved her two weeks earlier. As a close friend. He LOVED her. He got that stupid desperate look on his face. _

"_Don't cry Rae. I'm sorry about last night okay. I just... Just don't cry Rae. Please."_

_Raven looked down and touched her cheeks, before quickly drying them. Then she looked up at him with her usual calm face. He seemed a little better, and even gave her his boyish half smile. She kissed him. He loved her, so she kissed him. She loved him, so she kissed him. He kissed her back, so she kissed him more. They pulled apart, both now unable to not smile. He grabbed her hand and started to walk toward the door and the stairs downward to the others. Raven didn't care. She let Happiness do what she pleased and followed willingly. _

Garfield continued to look up at the window where Cara had been. Raven walked over to it and looked out. Her arms crossed seemingly listening to something being said to her, but focusing on the view. Jenny was right, he still loved her. He still wanted her. He still needed her.

_He could see she was pained by how the fans were forcing themselves on her, and he couldn't help admiring how she continued to write autographs and talk to them. He had that stupid grin on his face that he always got when he was looking at her, and despite having his own fans to take care of, his main focus was just to adore her from afare. Now and then she would look his way and give him a quick smile and Garfield would send an even bigger smile back. When they had done their duty, all of the titans sat in the car and Victor started to drive back. Raven was looking out of the window, but when Garfield grabbed after her hand she grabbed back. _

"_Those kids were cool weren't they?"_

"_Oh yes. They were wonderful. Don't you agree Richard? Would you not want bumgorfs of your own soon?"_

_Richard started to cough of his girlfriend's question, and the other three titans couldn't help but smile. _

"_One day Kori."_

"_One day? What day is that?"_

"_Someday."_

"_Oh on Sunday?"_

_Now both Garfield and Victor started to laugh. Raven hid her smile well, but she also felt sorry for the man sitting in front of her, getting more and more pale, his desperation growing. _

"_How about you Gar? How many bumgorfs do you want?"_

"_Me? I want a whole bunch. Until Raven says stop I guess."_

_He looked at Raven, who had turned and looked at him. There was something about her that made him suddenly afraid. _

"_I'm not having children Garfield."_

"_What?"_

"_I can't risk it. My father could get control over them, or they could inherent my powers. I can't do that to them."_

_It sounded logical, and yet... _

"_You're not having children?"_

"_No."_

_His world fell apart. He thought of his mother's ring in a box under his bed. Not that he was planing to propose, but he had imagined her with it. He had imagined the children they could have gotten together. He let go of her hand. Raven turned her head and stared at the back of Richard's head. She pulled her hand quickly to herself, and after pulling up her hood she folded them and placed them firmly on her lap. She closed her eyes and whispered her mantra so her powers wouldn't go out of control. The silence in the car just made everything worse. _

He tried to think of the children he had always imagined. He couldn't. They had gone. He stared at Raven as she stood there. He loved her. He LOVED her. He would have gone everywhere if she had asked him. He would have done anything. He lived to make her smile. He breathed to kiss her at night. After four years all he wanted was to get her back. Why was he so proud that he couldn't admit that? Yes he still wanted children, but he needed her more. He ran toward the door. He couldn't lose her again, he couldn't.

_He was standing on his usual rock as Raven walked toward him. Three weeks with nothing but arguing over the c-word. Neither of them had moved an inch. The other part did make good arguments, but not enough to drown out their own. Raven stopped a few feet away, but he didn't turn around. _

"_This isn't working out Rae. I think we should break up."_

"_What?"_

"_Listen, if you can't change your mind I don't see a future for us."_

_She felt like someone has kicked her in the stomach, and had problem breathing properly. She knew he felt awful too, but she was in too much pain to care. _

"_You bastard."_

_He turned around in suprise. In all the years he had known her he had never heard her scream like that. She was crying, and all his instincts told him to pull her close and comfort her. He reached out, but she pulled away. His arm just fell to his side. He felt like someone was ripping his organs out of his body. She had fallen to her knees, her powers making the entier island shake. Then she teleported and he screamed. Out of pain. Of sorrow. Anger. Of his own stupidity. Of hers. Of his mother's ring that was still in a box under his bed. _

He ran as quickly as he could up the stairs, not trusting the elevator would be quick enough, before barging into the common room. Then freezing as three pair eyes looked at him. Richard was the first to walk toward the door and as he passed him he whispered,

"You're too late again."

Kori quickly followed Richard, before Victor, after squeezing his shoulder, also left. Garfield fell to his knees screaming.

_Raven's face was warm and her head was filled with cotton. Somewhere someone was thinking on how numbing her emotions also numbed her powers, but she quickly shut him up with another tequila shot. Every night there was a new pub and new people, but the alcohol was the same. She didn't care. She drank until she didn't care, and when alcohol wasn't enough she would say yes to any man who would want her. When his name would be on her lips she would walk to a gang of men and give herself to their mercy. As long as they bought her drinks, as long as they kept him away from her mind, she didn't care what they did to her. She didn't care where or in what state she woke up. All she cared about was not feeling, not caring, not crying. She ordered another tequila when she saw them. The green eyes that made her stomach twirl. For a moment she thought he had found her, but the man with the green eyes was shorter than... him. He had brown hair and dark skin. It wasn't... him, but she was drawn to him anyway. She drank the tequila before walking over to him. _

"_I'm Raven."_

"_Mike."_

"_You want to sleep with me?"_

_He looked surprised at her, then his friends, then back at her. _

"_Is this a joke?"_

"_I don't joke. Do you want to sleep with me?"_

_Then he grinned and grabbed his jacket. _

"_Of course."_

_He grabbed her hand and they left the bar and got into a taxi together. She gave herself over to his green eyes and her mind, under the liquor, was thinking of... him._


	7. Chapter 7

Two months had passed and Raven felt content in her new life as Rachel. Even Cara was setteling in her new kindergarten. At least she thought so when the leader of the kindergarten suddenly called her at her new job in a book shop.

"We can't find her."

"What? How long?"

"Half an hour. We've called the police and every one is looking for her. I'm sure well find her."

"Okay, I'll be there as fast as I can."

Raven hung up and called her employer, but it took forty-five minutes to get someone to replace her. During this time she tried to sense where her daughter was, but she was too scared and all it did was make the books fly out on the floor. She had just gotten everything back in order when her replacement came and she rushed out. She wanted to teleport to the kindergarten, but there where people all around. She could feel her powers where getting out of control and Raven felt lost. Her own feelings and the feelings forced on her by her powers were making her more and more dangerous.

"Oh Azar please let her be okay."

Her cell rang again.

"I'm on my way."

"Rae it's me."

"Dick?"

Raven stopped in her track. The light was red.

"How did you get my number?"

"Actually Cara gave it to me. She's here with us now."

Raven couldn't help but give out a sigh of relief, and the lights blew out. She ducked like everyone else and in the commotion slipped away. She called the kindergarten and told them she had found her, before slipping into a alleyway. After being sure no one was near or looking, she teleported to the island and rang the bell. Dick answered.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She apparently ran away from the kindergarten and found the secret tunnel."

Raven sighed as they took the elevator up.

"Did she say why?"

"She said that she missed us."

The doors opened and Raven ran into the room and hugged her daughter, who had been sitting on floor playing with Kori.

"You can't do things like that Victoria. You scared me."

Cara just looked up at Raven as she rose to her feet.

"We have to go home now."

The girl just turned and walked over to the table where a used plate and a half full cup of milk was standing.

"Victoria, now."

"My name is Cara."

"It's time to go home."

Raven walked over, but the girl backed away. Raven could feel embarrassment grow and did her best to control it.

"You're happy here."

"You don't understand."

"You're not happy at home."

"You'll understand when your older."

"No."

The milk erupted out of the cup. The girl looked down at it, before dropping the cup and starting to cry. Raven picked the girl up and did her best to comfort her. Cara would be four tomorrow. She walked back and forth whispering calming words as she had done so many times when she had been the one to lose control.

"Rae, could I talk to you?"

Cara had calmed down, and Raven put her down.

"I'll be right back."

Cara just nodded and smiled. Raven kissed her on the forehead before leaving with Richard. He walked down the hall in silence, and Raven knew him better than to force talk on him. He stopped in front of a room and opened the door. One of the walls portraide a huge painted polar bear in his natural habtat. Another was of a huge whale, dolphins and other colourful fish under the sea. The third wall portraid a jungel with a tiger, birds and flowers. The last was of an African savanna, and portraid the animals so lifelike when Raven touched the lions mane she half expected it to be soft. The ceiling was stars and planets and in the window a robin mobile hung over a robotic toy and a big green chicken.

"It's wonderful Dick. Is this the baby's room?"

"No."

She walked over to the window and looked down. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was there. And she knew too well what her former leader was not talking about.

"What do you want me to do? Why did you show me this? What do you want?"

"I want you to come back Rae, but more than that I want you to be happy. He makes you happy."

"That's not important."

He came in and walked toward her.

"Of course it's important. You love him."

Raven hid her emotions very well, as she had trained her whole life, but he still saw them.

"He loves you."

"What do you want me to do? I still can't give him children. I still can't be the person he wants me to be."

She looked down at the floor.

"I'm still the person he rejected."

"Talk to him Rae. Just talk to him."

All she managed to do was nod. Then she walked out of the room, down the hall, down the elevator and out the door. She walked toward his rock, and there he was. Moping as he always did. And her body flared with emotions as it always did when he was around. Ever since he had made her laugh all thous years ago. Not always love, but no man had ever made her feel so much and she knew no man ever would. He suddenly turned and looked at her, before getting to his feet.

"What do you want from me?"

He just looked at her with his usual stupid, wonderful daft look on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Dick showed me the room."

He flared with embarrassment and Raven walked closer.

"What do you want from me Gar? Just tell me what you want?"

He kissed her. He grabbed her body and pushed it against his, he cupped her face and prohibed her from moving. Not that she wanted to. She kissed him back, in a moment of weakness, before pulling away.

"I love you Rae."

"I still can't give you children Gar, and one day you will wake up and resent me for it."

"I'll resent any woman who isn't you."

"But not your children."

She took a step back to get space.

"You will resent Cara for not being yours."

She turned.

"Go back to Jenny Gar. Let her help you lick your wounds, and when you're ready she will more than willingly have your children."

She started to walk toward the tower.

"I broke it off with her."

Raven turned and looked at him. He had that stupid look on his face that he so often got when he was looking at her, and the feeling of love was so strong it forced tears into her eyes.

"I love you."

"I know."

"No, Rae I still LOVE..."

"I know."

The ground was shaking, but none of them cared. He walked to her, and she was glued to to the ground.

"No matter what I will always wake up wondering how you and Cara are doing."

Raven's face was emotionless, but Garfield knew her well enough not to be folled by that.

"I love her."

"Gar."

"No I do. I love her because she's a great girl. I love her because she makes me feel so much like a man."

He looked down at her hand as he grabbed it. She neither encouraged nor discouraged the action.

"I love her because she's so much like you."

He looked up and smiled at her.

"She got her active powers today. How am I suppose to explain to a four years old that she isn't allowed to feel."

She was crying, and the world below them crumbled into dust and a huge watering hole grew from the spot they stood, but Raven's powers had also acted in and given them an energy platform to stand on.

"Just tell her what you told me, that just because she isn't allowed to wallow in them she still feels. She is still human."

Raven quickly dried her eyes.

"When I figured out I was having her I wanted to call you. I wanted to come running back and hold her up to you and say here a child now love me."

He pulled her close.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't think you would be a good father. I'm sorry I made you feel like I just didn't want your children."

She was breaking down and Garfield did his best to stay strong, like she had been strong for him so many times.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too Rae. I'm sorry I made you leave everything. I'm sorry you had to do it on your own. I'm sorry I made you feel like you weren't enough. You've always been enough. You have always given me what I needed, and when you couldn't I sent you away like a spoiled child and I can never forgive myself for that."

She pulled herself closer to him and dug her face in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I made you feel alone. You're not. You're never alone Rae."

The place they had been standing on was completely destroyed and Garfield thought about how much energy Raven was using to supress her emotions and how much energy she wasn't allowing to run out of control. But he refused to let go of her. Despite what was happening. He would never be so stupid as to let go of her again. But in the end she forced him to. She took a step back dried her face breathed. Then she moved them to dry land.

"But it's not going to be easy Gar."

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't just about what you say and do. This is about how you feel, not just now but in a year, in two, in five. This is about Cara who will love you unconditionally but also feel every emotion you feel."

He looked down on the ground.

"So you really feel every feeling."

"I'm sorry, that's just how it works."

"So when I look at the weather girl on channel 5?"

Raven couldn't help give a smal smile before she got serious again. Gar saw the smile and gave her one back in return. She really was beautiful when she smiled.

"Gar, am asking you if you're going to love me and my daughter forever. To commit to us forever. And I'm not just asking for Cara. I can't hear you tell me I'm not enough one more time."

He kissed her, then grabbed her hand. He ran inside, up the elevator, passed the common room and into his room, and Raven just ran after him. He dove under the bed and started to pull out all the junk that was under there. Raven sat down on the bed.

"And what are you looking for?"

He suddenly emerged, dust over his face and front, with a small box in his hands. Still on his knees he placed it on the bed next to her and opened it. He took some pictures out before continuing to search for something. Raven looked at the pictures. One was of a couple she guessed was his parents. Another of Rita Farr and Steve Dayton. Another again of a huge coloured man with clear tribal outfit.

"Found it."

She looked up and at the ring Garfield had pulled out. Her eyes grew.

"But if someone asks, can we say I proposed to you?"

"Are you sure?"

"No I guess it's fine that you proposed."

She looked down at him as he slipped the ring on her finger. He looked up at her and smiled. Before getting to his feet.

"Rae I get it, but I need you. I have always needed you."

Raven got to her feet and kissed him. She kissed him because she loved him. She kissed him because he loved her. She kissed him because of the ring on her finger, and the photographs and what he had said and what she had said. But most of all she kissed him because Happiness told her to, and she was to happy to argue. He smiled, grabbed her hand and ran toward the common room and when Happiness told her to follow she willingly did.


End file.
